Illness is annoying

I hate being ill. And ill with the most panzy, bizarrely debilitating thing like Madras Eye. I am currently fully functional and able to work however, the contagion that is Madras Eye leaves me in some sort of quarantine because my eye is so contagious.

Just when my World Aids Day campaign is about the launch in 2 days, I have sit at home and wait for this damn thing to sort itself out. I am not a happy bunny.

It was actually Ta that noticed it, I thought there was just something in my eye, but she looked at me, and said, "oh my god, what is wrong with your eye...oh no, you have Madras eye". I ran to the mirror, and I looked like some possessed alien! Not good.

When my aunt came back she told me that would not be allowed to go in to work. I was mortified.
I asked her if I could wear a medicated eye-patch or something and go in. She laughed and scoffed at me, and said a definitive, "No".

Verdict - I hate being ill. I want to go to work.

The big move....

I am now an official Chennai resident.

Experiences vs. Memories

A proposition: If "the great powers that be" gave you the opportunity to live the happiest year of your life but you forgot everything once it was over, would you do it.

My Ans: Yes, I would do it. Why?
Well, I would want to live the happiest year of my life, and I don't care if I forgot it all, because I would want to experience that happiness. I want to be happiest in that moment.

Some people feel that what is the point of living through life, if you couldn't keep the memories of it. What is point if you can't a lesson from your experiences? However, just because you don't have a memory of it, does it negate the fact that you were happy in the moment in time?

I do love my memories, but I prefer the feeling I had when I was actually there, living it.

POTPOURRI

I am currently ridiculously excited about my show on Sunday(Oct 17th) 2-5pm on Chennai Live 104.8FM. I cannot believe for my first show ever, I was not only able to provide some exposure to a brilliant group called Hip Hop Tamizha but I was also able to interview His Excellency Miguel Angel Ramirez, Cuban Ambassador for India.It was just a light-hearted chat about Cuban films, but when would anyone ever get the opportunity like this having only been back in the country for a month and a half!!

Plus I am thrilled that I am also able to introduce an interesting new playlist of songs to the Chennai Live airwaves. They have given me a specialist hour where I can select my own playlist of songs. So a little bit of India baby! Woo Hoo!

Anyway, I hope everyone can tune in....I so wish that Amma, and some of friends abroad and here in the other parts of India could tune in too. My mate Akshaya, who has none be since beyond the womb...he sadly won't be able to hear it because it he is in Hyd!

I'll try and see if I can upload it on to my new show blog maybe.....hmmm.

New....

New city, new job, new colleagues, new prospects....

Old friends, old relations, old me.....

Starting my life in Chennai has been a good experience. I'm not necessarily starting from scratch, but I am definitely starting out my career in the India from scratch. Thankfully, family and friends have been a boon and an irreplaceable support along the way.

Some things of note....

1. I do not speak Tamil.
So communication can become tedious. Being a chatty person at heart, I wish I could even just converse with our lovely Pathi. She makes such an effort to communicate with me. At her age, she looks after this entire family and now myself included. She whips up a meal with her magic spatula and all you taste is some serious love and good food. 

I am also a keep observer. I always have this bizarre view of life. I somehow find the comical and whimsical in situations. I would love to listen in to conversations on buses, to wonder how people are living their lives.

I wish I could understand Tamil.

2. Public transport

My first ever run in with public transport was when I had to get back home on my own. The 23C wasn't going all the way to Besant Nagar, rather, it was stopping only at Adyar before it continued on the Thiruvanmiyur. The bus conductor had rattle off the buses from Adyar to Besant but it was told with just speed that it barely had time to enter my ear drums, before it rolled out of the bus window. When I went and sat down, I realised I needed to know the bus numbers, so when the conductor passed me by, I tapped him on the shoulder and requested what number buses went from Adyar to Besant. He shouted back,"WAIT WAIT!". So I waited, quietly, and 15 minutes later I get a small piece of paper handed to me with a list of all the buses that go to Besant Nagar! Now that is good customer service right there!

I've had various other run ins with acts of kindness from strangers who have helped me along the way. Telling me the right bus to Besant or Adyar and where to get off when I needed to. 

But with the good, bus come the bad and ugly, and the buses are immensely over crowded. Just to make sure I don't get felt up by some creep, I would advice placing yourself between some buxom, elderly woman's breasts. It's the safest place you can be! I rather be suffocated with women squashed up against  me rather than me any day.

Sadly, though, I think all the moving around and my stint with public transport has taken a toll on me. 

For the last week I have been suffering with viral fever. Not good. 

So even though this foreign-return decided to jump head first into everything she does, it all does takes it's out of you in some way or the other.

Good in a Crisis...

There are situations that life throws you, were you have to wonder whether you are good in a crisis or not. Having recently given charge of sorting out a family crisis, even though I was worried beyond belief, I was able to take charge, inform and make sure everything moved and was being handled. The emotional and psychological stress in these kind of situation is off the Richtor scale. You not only have to keep your cool, but make sure everyone's else's cool is managed as well.

This personal drama made me think of the drama in the world we live in today. It amazes me the power of human endeavour whether it be on the scale of a major human disaster on a scale that takes human life and truly makes us realise the power of mother nature, or when a young boy goes missing and his family and friends work together to find him. If you erase the dividing lines of global politics, and economy, and purely look at the human ability to pool together love, kindness and generousity, there are so many things we are capable of achieving from one human life for another.

If you look at human beings and our range of emotion - from love, and passion to sadness, or anger, we have the ability to harness our emotions for the betterment or detriment of humanity. Corruption, callousness, selfishness, bureaucracy, and our propensity for war are some of the factors that make people like me doubt whether the human race will survive. I may sound like a massive hippie but "if we only put down our guns and gave each other a hug".

According to the Stolkholm International Peace Research Institute, "World military expenditure is estimated to have been $1531 billion in 2009—an increase of 6 per cent over 2008 and of 49 per cent since 2000. This corresponded to 2.7 per cent of world gross domestic product (GDP) and $224 for each person in the world". If we could slow down our military expenditure, and invest that into bettering the human condition - to alleviate poverty, educate citizens of the world, and creating a world that can sustain our gluttonous and consumer-ridden lifestyle, we can override all the bad in this world.

I am an optimist at heart, and I hope that in my lifetime, I get to see nationality, become humanity; forgiveness; acceptance of difference; deprivation and poverty become happiness and enrichment.

My Motherland welcomes me....

Like a warm and slightly damp blanket, I am welcomed back home to the hot, humid and wet monsoon climate of Mumbai. My mum was thrilled with my arrival. I now have cupboard space for all my stuff! I cannot believe after 10 years I am now living with my mum.

Spending majority of my life in boarding school and the UK, I gained an independence that no one can take away from me, that is cultivated from within, along with an independence from location, and economy. I now feel like I am taking a step back, but not a regrettable one, just a decided one. When circumstances are difficult, you have to make decisions accordingly - good, bad or ugly.

I thank God for giving me everything I have ever wanted and more, and even for the things that didn't work out, and learning to suffer through it. For what are we but the sum of our struggles, our scars, lessons learned and happiness.

Thankfully, I also have the support of family, friendship and my homeland that will give me the love and comfort I need to start a new chapter in my life.

The young are so perseptive.....

Yesterday my little 8 year old brother, while watching his cartoons and dabbing a cotton pad soaked in Gulab Jal on his face asked me, "You're 20 now Didi?"
I said, "Yes I am 24".
He added,"Well, if you're 20 shouldn't you be having a job right now?".
OUCH! He completely hit the nail on the head. Yes, why don't I have a job yet?

I am currently in the Middle East with father, and on my way to Mumbai. I am leaving the UK for good, because I as a sad graduate have truly suffered the consequences of the economic recession. As a graduate all you strive for is employment in the degree you pursued. However, as I learned from my 18 months in the UK, this is not as easy as it sounds.

I knew getting this work visa would be a risk, and no guarantee of a job, but I thought, when am I ever going to get the chance to be in a different country in my life. I am an opportunist and if I was able to get a work permit, post study, why not? I was eventually able to get my visa with no hiccups, however I did undergo 4 weeks of stress and suspense before I got it.

For the last 18 months I have been looking for a career in media, or even associated with media. Working for the community radio station Newport City Radio in Wales was a real boon, and I was able to gain experience as a news editor and presenting and producing a film show. I have also had a string of part-time jobs in between to tide me over financially.

However I continued to apply like a dog, for any job in my career line, but to no avail. And after Easter I wasn't even able to gain a part-time job let alone a full-time.

So here are my plans to move to back to my motherland for employment - India. However, I have heard I am not alone. A lot of international people in similar situations are realising once they graduate they don't want to continue in the UK. As an international student we invest heavily in the UK's education system, and without us, university wouldn't survive. We spend between 15,000-25,000GBP annually within the UK on tuition fees, accommodation, and other expenses. Big universities like Cardiff University (where I did my MA) are closing up various departments to save money. I also heard from a friend doing her PhD, that they are now going to slow down funding in new medical research, because it is deemed "unnecessary". Just continue what you are doing already? Imagine no money for future medical research? So no cure for cancer then? No vaccine for AIDS?

Immigration is going to become harder as time go by, because the UK wants to keep jobs and opportunities local. I saw and felt the brunt of this in the kind of employment I sought after - I was not local enough. My job applications would have been thrown to the bottom of the pile as I am not from the UK or even from Europe!

So I have decided to take my skills elsewhere and hopefully where they are worth being paid for. I am going to miss my friends in the UK as they have looked after me in good times and not so good times. My colleagues were kind enough to give me due respect and praise for all the hard work I have done, which is always good to hear.

So thank you to everyone in the UK, and hello to all in India. You won't know what hit you!

Londonium....

Being a skint graduate, we have ways and means to do things that are either incredibly cheap or completely free. London being one of the most expensive cities in the world, what could you possibly do that is remotely entertaining and won't burn a hole in your wallet?

My mum and I were able to do a couple of things off the beaten track of an open-top bus.

Firstly, my mum being a devote Christian, I really wanted her to see St. Paul's Cathedral - an absolutely grandiose expression of religious fervour, and beauty. Scholars, poets, and royalty and now tourists, celebrities and layman have all traversed this monumental monument. However, it costs £12-£15 to walk down the corridors of this church. A mighty cost for a stroll around a church.

To by pass this unearthly cost, you can go for a church service at 12:30pm or for the ethereal Evensong (which is a choral service) at 5:00pm, which stipulates - 'All Are Welcome'. If you aren't the religious sort I would suggest going for the Evensong, because it is stunning and the acoustics of the Cathedral carry the voices from the throats of the singers to the roof of the building. Definitely worth a visit. I've also heard that it is free to visit during Christmas time as well. Horray Yuletide!

You can also bare witness to free gigs at the National Theatre foyer. My mother and I were able to watch a catchy gypsy swing band called Trio Manouche, who will be playing at the Secret Garden Party at the end of the month. They were a charming band, and could easily win anyone over with their ragtime tunes. An old lady even got up and did a little dance around the stage, as though hypnotised by the music, taking her back to yesteryear.

We also went to the Tate Modern, to culture ourselves with artistic expression.

I was able to get us to a free comedy show at the Comedy Cafe in Shoredith. On Wednesdays they have a New Act night, where fresh faced comedians take the stage and test out their material to a room for of laughter or suffer awkward silences and cruel hecklers . We witnessed a bit of both!

All in all it was a fun trip. But nothing in life is free, especially when it comes to public transport in London, and be wary they might dupe you into promising your first born just to get on the Northern Line.

Mother's arrival....

A lavish graduation, a festival, a castle and lots of cake and sausages - Amma is here!

I experienced my first ever graduation as a guest rather than a graduand. Having done it twice already, now it was my brother's turn to dawn the heavy, heat-radiating gowns and the cardboard hats while the dotting mother and older sister embarrass him royally.

However, I was completely blown away by the post-graduation party with champagne, strawberries and cream along with a full-orchestra supported jazz band, singing Frank Sinatra classics.Is this a graduation party or a wedding, I pondered?

Then Maindee Festival in Newport went beyond my expectation. It was a great experience being a host on the main stage, and I would love to get more involved in festival organisation. Even though it wasn't my job, sound techies for the main stage thought that I was the stage manager at one point.

Compering the main stage gave me the chance to introduce some mind-blowing acts such as the Impact All Stars & Vaguely Artistic whose band members had learning disabilities.

I also got the chance to flirt with an adorable ginger, Glaswegian drummer to three-piece indie-folk band Sparrow & The Workshop.

The festival ended with a bang with Justin Adams (ex-guitarist for Robert Plant), and West African maestro Juledah Camera. I was off stage dancing my bootie away. I feel so privileged to have experienced and met the headliners to this years WoMat Festival.

Caerphilly Castle was the next destination for me and my mum. I bribed my old work colleagues with chocolate muffins and showed my mum the 2nd biggest castle in the UK. At Christmas time, an episode of Doctor Who had been filmed there and the Tardis had been left behind too. Recently an episode of BBC's Merlin had been filmed there too.

My mother also savoured the delights of the local tea room, Glanmor's in Caerphilly town centre, with a Lamb Cawl followed by a lovely cuppa. This truly Welsh experience was just short of being serenaded by Tom Jones, and spooned by a sheep.

Its been a while....

Well, it's been ages since I last posted, and what a sentimental post it was.

I am back now and I hope to keep blogging for a long time.

My circumstance is governed by my current financial constraints and I am currently residing with my radio manager.

I am particularly looking forward to my mother coming over for my brother's graduation, and I cannot believe that time has whizzed by me with such effortless speed that I am now but 5 days away from my darling mother's arrival.

My brother shockingly enough is now completing his bachelors and I feel as though it was only yesterday that he was a fresher at University in Bournemouth.

I sadly have been particularly stressed and frustrated with my employment situation and the complete lack of career stagnation that I have been pinned into for the past 6-8 months.

I am hoping to move on from this circumstance, by relocating. I am moving from Wales back to my motherland - India. I am very excited as when I last went for Easter, I could have felt more loved by my family and my very special friends.

I also feel that there are more opportunities in India. The UK is not my home country, as my blue passport so governs my entry and work status, and I am particularly limited by this. I have tried and worked hard to try to push my career forward here, but the economic situation here has set me back in more ways than one.

Also, with the new coalition government that has taken hold, immigration will be significantly curtailed by the almighty Damian Green who is putting a cap on economic migrants, and plans to slow down the immigration into the country. So hard cheese for me, and my hopes to extend my visa is being re-examined in this light and I do not want to invest anymore money into the UK, if I am not getting anything out of it.

Having received a letter from my grandfather recently, he was adamant that I come back to India as my situation will instantly improve on doing so. I don't know how true that will be but, I will be glad to be home, in my country, where I can do as I will.

I will miss all the good friends and the amazing people I have come across here the UK, but I sadly have reached my last tether and at the end of the day, the world is still governed by its borders, governments and economy.

So I hope to say farewell to the UK, and Namaste to Amchi Mumbai.

To my grandpa and grandma...

When I begin to reflect on thoughts of Kerala, what first comes to mind are Gapa and Gama. For me they represent the home, history and heritage that comes with Kerala and our family. Their relationship's endless love and generosity has always been the glue that has held this family together and they are the centre of the Valuparampil-Watacheril universe.

My fondest memories of visiting Gapa and Gama's abode is firstly getting there. As the car cuts through Thiruvalla town centre, then under the railway bridge, up T. K. road and then the Valuparampil abode, into the gate, up the slope and park at the front of the house. There on the doorstep is Gama awaiting our arrival in one of her lovely sarees with a solemn smile on her face. After the introductory hugs and kisses, our luggage is deposited into our rooms and then comes, what I like to call the 'Unpacking of Goodies', which is always one of my favourite aspects of the arrival process.

That is the start to a typical visit to Gapa and Gama's and onward ensues many fond and delectable memories such as Gama's culinary masterpieces that never fail to throttle appetites and expand stomach capacities to an inhuman scale. Or Gapa's late evening entertainment sessions where he will gather people's attention with mere rumble of his baritone voice, as he tells stories from his past - of youth spent in the British Navy; his banking days in Bombay, the Middle East and Hong Kong, to name a few. Then you have Gapa's elaboradte comedy routines regarding Sardarjees, and Vandaramu and many more charactres, that we love to hear and laugh at.

Between Gapa and Gama, you can see the clear difference in their personage - Gapa is the outgoing, extroverted personality who has the ability to command our attention and our amusement. Gama on the otherhand is cool and collected with her witty remarks and repartee with Gapa, her humour though well-disguised is subtle and potent. They both provide a perfect match for each other - she is the Yin for his Yang.

Both Gapa and Gama are strong figures in their own way too. Gama's strength and love is sturdy from the inside with a calming disposition, while Gapa's energy, passion and strong-will show through his aura and commanding presence.

Their love and strength conbined has perpetuated their relationship through thick, thin and an entire lifetime of 60 years. They have left their mark not only in all our lives but they have forged their relationship in the cast iron blocks of our family history.

Friendship - be there when it counts

In this retrospective time, as one year ends and we are on the brink of a new year beginning, you start to think about yourself, what kind of person you have been, what kind of person you want to be. Who have stuck by you in the last year, who you have stuck by and then I began to wonder if I was truly a good friend. I know I can be terrible at communication and keeping in touch but I realised that at crunch time, I can actually be of some use. I have to say there are moments in life where God gives you a chance to prove to someone, that you will be there for them no matter what. And here was my chance.

My old flatmate Wendy, and best friend in Wales kindly invited me over to her place in Llanidloes in mid-Wales, with her and her mum for Christmas celebrations. However, this was plan was hindered by the passing away of Wendy's mother in the weeks before Christmas. This was an exceedingly sad time, and as soon as I found out, I went to help Wendy. I took a couple of days off work and went with Wendy to Llanidloes, cheered her up in whatever way I could, helped her pack her mother's things, cooked for her to make sure that she ate well. I hoped I was a good a friend to her as she has been for me in the past year.

Death is always a difficult and awkward time, and some people run away from it, because one may not know what to say, what to do in those kind of situations, and I actually have never been for a funeral before in my entire life. Yet, Wendy is such a good friend and at this moment in time she had no one to organise everything, but herself. I admire her vigour, and strong-will as I don't know anyone who could organise this entire funeral and her family, pack up her mother's house and organise her Christmas in a month. It being a difficult time, I know it was emotional for Wendy, but kudos to her for being so strong through it all.

Wendy gave me the opportunity to speak at the funeral, she had asked me to read a poem out for her, as she said she couldn't handle talking at the funeral. So I read the poem out and said a couple of words of thanks to Wendy and her mum for, well, looking after this little Indian girl. It was insanely emotional as soon as I saw Wendy blubbing in the front, when I got to the lectern, I started crying myself. I did get feedback in the end, as I apologised to everyone for crying in a room full of strangers, but everyone said that they were fine till I started talking and which seemed to have triggered off everyone's water works.

Well, lastly I would like to thank Wendy and her mum, for being there for me - her mum who called Wendy all the time and if she wasn't in, I would chat to her for a couple of hours. Even from Llanidloes she would check up on us. And I am sure Katrina (Wendy's mum) would be so proud of the strong, intelligent and beautiful woman Wendy has become.

I cannot wait till Wendy comes to visit me in India.

I am a Graduate, Feed Me

September: Submitted dissertation
December: Passed my Masters in Journalism
January: Applied for my visa
February: Obtained my Visa
April: No Job!

This is MY current economic situation.
Firstly having graduated doing media, getting a job in this sector is exceedingly hard. I am working in a call centre and bouncing around doing random admin jobs, and bar work to pay my rent, bills and basically keep myself alive. I have no recourse to public funds as that is my work visa restriction (along with I am not allowed to work as a trainee doctor?? strange). So I can only survive with my own earnings.

However, its not that bad. I at least have my foot in the door of the media as I am currently working for a community radio station - Newport City Radio, in Newport, Wales. I was working on their news team for the month of February, and though unpaid I absolutely loved the experience. Now, I have my own one hour film show on Fridays, chatting about what you should be watching for the weekend.

Now, all I need to do actually get paid for what I love to do....is that too much to ask for?

The MotherLand

By the end of this week I will be on my way to the Hamara Bharat Mahan, Amchi Mumbai, and Malluland....I can't wait. I've been here in England for the past month, and though my mother suggested I come back by the end of June, I completely objected and said I need to stay here for a month. In hind sight I totally didnt realise that I would get phenomenal bouts of home sickness. I have been so used to being away from home while being in RV (boarding school - for the past 7 years), I never thought I would get home sick. But I've been a bit of mental train wreck this past month. Barely any friends here, I never missed home so much. I have had some fun times with who ever has been here, but they have been rare and far between.

I can't wait to see everyone in India. I love friends, they come in handy when your on your own, and there isn't any family around.

Anyway, hello India, here I come!!!

Mushy films....or not.

Just watched a most sad film. I thought it was going to be crazy, and out of it, but "BLOW" isn't.

Its a true story and about a man who is a great business man, but who sadly gets into the wrong business.
Everytime, he says,"life was going perfect", you definitely know something was going to go wrong.

I try not to be sentimental, but I guess in my heart of hearts I am a big pile of mushiness.
I have quite an emotional heart but I try not to let that get the better of me. If you become too sensitive about stuff, and expect more from others than they can give you in return, it only hurts you more.
Thick-skinned they call it. I don't like to be seen as vulnerable, it isn't one of my strong points.....lol.

But when it comes to films I really do get into them, and I have been watching some mighty sad films lately. Saw this short film called "The Sheep Thief" by Asif Kapadia, and I was wailing like a baby...yes, I was sobbing like PMS had hit me and so had a car. Now that was so well made, and superb acting by the kid who was in it. Watching it, makes you feel like, life is so futile when you get labelled by society. A must see by all...go go... watch it.

I would just like to say, GO MUSHY FILMS.... what would we all be if we didnt have a heart.... some sort of algae... single-celled amoeba maybe??

Universal Excrement 2

Sean and I had gone for a coffee at Ottakars Coffee shop the other day. When we left, we were walking past Bella Italia and this random man asked us the time. I said that it was 5:15 and he said something to me that I didn't quite hear, so I asked him to repeat himself. Then he began to ask me, "Do you understand what I'm saying?", he would mumble something and then continue to pester and ask me, "Do you understand what I'm saying". Then, I caught him say, "Aleikum, Salaam Aleikum"... I pounced in, "I know what that means, it means 'peace be upon you' in Arabic". He just shock my hand and said, "oh alright then. Good good." That was it.

Why? I ask you, I put forth this question to all, how do these weird things happen. Does it mean something? or was he just being strange? help me....

Weirdo...

I know, I know, it's been a while since I last post on my blog. I just noticed that I seemed to create posts every 3 months... do I see a pattern?

Well, I have realised that not only am I slightly strange, but I am victim of universal excrement, in the sense that to make everyones else lives seem normal the world shits weird occurances into my very existance to balance the world and its exponential working order.

About 2 weeks ago, I was walking from my friend Tom & Andy's house (or The George as they call it, as opposed to their previous residence.... The Albert), on my own back home (a.k.a My Love Haven), and on my way I hit a zone, a weirdo warp - where things happen in slow motion, like the universe is creating an in-focus shot to make you notice and give perspective. Let me elaborate.... as I was walking down London Road, there were all these fire engines blazing past. I was off course, keeping to myself, but Fate never seems to mind its own business, so as the fire engines were speeding past, this random man came up to me and asked me, "Are those the ice cream trucks??"..... Need I say more?

Naked play...

Dear Ellie and I went to the Roses Theatre in Tewkesbury to see the play for Lady Chatterley's Lover. I haven't read the book but I have always wanted to.
There is always something that intrigues people about books that are banned, and banned due to its explicit sexual nature? All the better!!

In the magazine I got advertising the play there was a warning:
"Please note: This production contains scenes of an explicit nature including nudity"
Hmm, nudity on stage??? got to see that!! Also, it was only 7.50 pounds, which was a good opportunity, plus I am a avid fan of the theatre. Well, I must commend on the play, it was super. The acting was really good, though I did feel that it went a little artificial at times but the guy who acted as the lover was genuine through out.

And YES, there was nudity, quite a lot more than I had expected as well. But it wasn't vulgar in any way, it was very much in keeping with the book. More to do with the idea of Making Love, then it being something mindless and menial. Their love was made to look beautiful through its passion and sensuality.
Ellie and I loved the play.Good Stuff!

Moshing...

Well, awake now... its early as usual and I have realised that it has been a considerably long time since I have made an effort on my blog, I do apologise profusely.
Just got back yesterday from Birmingham after a concert with the punk/rock band 'Funeral for a Friend'. Though not in the league of My Favourite bands the concert was really good. They had great energy when performing (though they did end very abruptly), I had a fantastic time!

I learned to mosh for the first time in my life and I actually enjoyed it.
For the illiterate ones, "moshing is a type of dance characterized by jumping around and or pushing others to loud punk, hardcore and heavy metal music." (definition picked up from wikipedia). Well, I personally wouldn't call it a dance, but everyone just starts pushing and shoving and you literally move with the entire crowd. I was scared,like a little mouse, at first. The fear arose out of the fact that I thought i might fall and be crushed.... death seemed close at hand at that particular moment in time. However the weird physics of it is that you can't actually fall. There are people in front of you, people behind you, and on either side and so on. So, when you do get shoved around people keep you up so you never really fall. I must warn people now, once moshing begins it does get quite addictive.

Confession: "I got moshed, but I doth giveth the mosh back".